A Childhood Lost

When I was about four, I decided to go for a walk.  We lived on a dead-end street. At the end, down an embankment, was a canal that would occasionally fill with fast-flowing flood waters, but usually only conveyed a small stream.  On this particular day, I decided to follow the trail that ran adjacent to the canal farther than I had ever taken it before. It brought me to a fairly busy road, with four lanes of traffic. I was pretty sure it was the same road that my mother would drive on to take me to daycare. I figured I could probably find the daycare if I followed the sidewalk long enough, but that didn't really appeal to me. So instead, I sat on the sidewalk, content to watch the cars go by.

I am not sure how long I sat there -- perhaps five minutes, perhaps fifteen.  It was long enough for a police car passing by to notice me and stop.  The nice policemen asked me several questions, and then asked me to get in the back of their car so they could take me home. I remember being annoyed at how they stopped at every single house in my neighborhood, asking if that was where I lived. I had given them explicit directions to my house and told them my full address multiple times -- it was clear to me that the policemen were clearly not very smart.

I am sure my parents were quite shocked to find policemen knocking at the front door, with me in tow. They knew I was playing somewhere outside, but they had no idea I had wandered so far. The policemen had a few words with my parents, and then they left.  Afterwards, I am pretty sure my parents told me not to take the trail to the busy road anymore, but I don't recall. I do know that I continued to explore my neighborhood without my parents constantly hovering around, watching my every movement. And I know that my parents were not arrested for neglect.

But this was in the day-and-age before 24-hour news filled our insatiable appetites for all things scandalous and sensational. This was before we were constantly reminded, over and over, of all the terrible things that sometimes happen to people. This was before we, as a society, became convinced that predators were hiding behind every tree, just waiting to abduct/abuse a child. This was before we lost perspective on risk, and decided that any risk to a child, no matter how remote, was an unacceptable risk.  But this is not a blanket approach to risk -- somehow allowing your child to ride in a car and play sports is still acceptable, even though these activities are far more likely (by orders of magnitude) to result in injury or death than walking to school alone, playing in a park by yourself, or exploring your neighborhood.

As I read the news about yet another parent being arrested for allowing their child (aged 7-9) to play in a nearby park unattended (though equipped with a cell phone), I cannot help but shake my head.  I cannot help but wonder about the consequences of our overprotective tendencies.  There are benefits to letting your child explore the world alone.  It forces them to think for themselves. It teaches them how to be self-sufficient. It teaches them the importance of evaluating risk, of setting boundaries.  Plus, it's fun.

We constantly bemoan the fact that today's youth are addicted to electronics, content to sit inside and play video games all day. But can we really blame them? They are not allowed to play in the front yard anymore unless mommy and daddy can watch (and often times mommy and daddy are too busy to watch). They are most certainly not allowed to roam the neighborhood, and even if they did, they would be hard-pressed to find any friends to play with...because nobody lets their kids play outside unattended anymore.  The concept of knocking on the door of your friend down the street and seeing if they'd like to play has been replaced with the concept of a play date. Because these days, mommy and daddy must schedule all of their child's activities, and even if the parents did allow their child to walk down the street by themselves in search of a friend, they just might find a policeman knocking on the front door. And these days, that policeman might just arrest them.